Digital Media Spotlight: SCHMUCKBOYS

SCHMUCKBOY. Say that 20 times really fast. This has become my new favorite word, even though I’m fully aware I shouldn’t be using it in public because it rhymes with a curse word and has a pretty bad connotation. Incase you’re unfamiliar with the word, it’s OK, but you probably know already that it’s a spin-off of… Yeah. What rhymes with “schmuck?” (You know what I mean.) A “shmuckboy” is the Jewish version of a “bleep” boy, but WHAT is it exactly?

“A schmuckboy, in my definition, is the anti-gentleman; somebody who doesn’t pay the bill, open the door, call when he says he’s going to call, and is inconsistent.”

“Somebody who doesn’t care about me and only is interested in themselves.”

“Someone who doesn’t want a real connection or relationship and they’re just out there playing the field.”

“A boy who is in a fraternity in AEPi [Alpha Epsilon Pi] who is grown up now but had some fun in college.”

“He’s gross.”

These are just a few reactions from guests on Schmuckboys, a biweekly Jewish dating podcast presented by the Jewish Journal. Hosts Libby Walker and Marla Friedson talk about “all things Jewish, dating, career, social media, and more!” There’s “more,” I’d say, but overall, this is just a dating podcast, and I have no problem with that. In fact, I think we need MORE dating podcasts.

So DATING… Ugh. That’s an annoying “ugh” for two reasons: dating is hard, and dating is inescapable and so there is literally no way to get out of it, no matter how hard we (or maybe just I…) try. However, if we want to fall in love but don’t know if we’re doing something wrong, we need advice. We need some words of wisdom to help us keep our chins up. Podcasts like Schmuckboys exist because no matter how much we deny it, no matter our relationship status, dating has changed so much, and we ALL need to better understand it.

A few weeks ago, I talked to a good buddy of mine about dating.

“It sucks,” I said.

“Dude, I’m married, and I already know it does,” he replied.

“I just don’t know how to do it at this point,” I said.

“I don’t think anyone does,” he added. “Everything is virtual now. What happened to the way people used to date? Why does it all have to be on our phones now?”

AMEN. Am I right? I may not be alone when I admit that I want to fall in love the way people do in the old movies, “matching” with someone from across the room at an event or getting set up by friends. You know, the way they do it in any 90s sitcom. No phones. No apps. None of that. Unfortunately, things just aren’t as they used to be, and a pandemic only further exacerbated dating. Advice is something we all need. Regardless of whether we believe in what these people say, dating experts or matchmakers or neither, it helps. Listening helps. It calms us down and reminds us that we are OK. That imaginary “biological ticking clock” we have in our head (My Cousin Vinny reference…) pauses and we suddenly understand that we’re not alone. It may take time, but we can’t force love.

Schmuckboys fits right in with the other entertaining, Jewish-centered dating podcasts where people “yenta” about romance, relationships, heartbreak, and the messy ways we try to find our beshert (aka “soulmate”). I should note that despite the podcast being called “shmuckboys,” it’s not an attack on (Jewish) men. This is a light show about two ordinary friends offering some ways to work through relationships. Each episode starts with a hilarious song of a woman singing “You’re such a schmuckboy. You’re such a schmuckboy.” For the rest of the show, which usually lasts under an hour, Libby and Marla talk like you’re right there in the room with them.

Comfort shows like this are always fun, and I think what makes Schmuckboys even better is that the hosts aren’t professional matchmakers. Of course, I have nothing against dating experts or matchmakers, but sometimes it’s fun to hear some “guidance” from everyday people. In my experience, I’ve found that I can relate to them more. We don’t need celebrities or professional matchmakers all the time. Sometimes, a duo of besties can get us through our miserable days of trying to fall in love.

Libby, I should say, is already a colossal TikTok star. In her page, which has over 50,000 followers, she acts out “POV” videos where she pretends to be a certain someone – typically Jewish – in a random situation. One of her alter egos, for example, is a Jewish mom named “Sheryl Cohen.” (See “POV: Jewish Mom secret to Shabbat.”) Her other characters include Chad Goldstein, the Aepi ladies’ man, and Chava, Sheryl’s daughter whom her mother constantly calls.

And that’s not all. The “POVs” get even more original.

 

“POV: you think you’re too old for Jewish sleepaway camp”

“POV: you’re a camp counselor and there is thunder outside”

“POV: you grew up loving Bieber so much you know how to act like him”

 

A native New Yorker, Libby has a BFA in acting from the University at Buffalo. She began her TikTok during the pandemic, like so many others, and by 2021, Forbes itself called her a “modern Mrs. Maisel.” She recently worked for Kii NYC, a young Jewish professionals non-profit, and now does TikTok full time.

Marla, who graduated with a BA in Communication, Journalism, and Related Programs from the University of Massachusetts Amherst, now works as a freelance editor for Equitable Advisors, a financial advisor. She was formerly an associate producer.

Libby is in a relationship while Marla (as of the publishing of this blog post) is single. There’s no “problem” with this situation, of course, because both girls agree: dating is a pain in the butt.

“I think the biggest problem is communication, people overanalyze things and are afraid to ask if the relationship is exclusive or not,” Libby tells Jewish Journal, adding that parents’ constant nosing around their single children’s lives only causes more distress.

For Marla, the best advice for anyone dating is to remember that it’s OK to be picky.

“Don’t take rejection too personally,” she says. “I’ve gone out with guys who are genuinely great guys and there was nothing wrong with them, but they just didn’t match my vibe.”

It may sound morbid, in an oddly hilarious way, that Libby and Marla agree that as Jews, their people need more humor in relationships, both platonic and romantic.

“We’ve been through so much trauma in our history that we can’t help but joke around,” Marla says. “It’s one of the most important things to me.”

It’s pretty true, to be honest, and not just for Jews. For all of us. We all have some form of trauma or pain that we hide. We’re not alone, and we need to keep faith and better come to terms that our beshert is out there somewhere. Waiting stinks, as we all know, but moping around won’t diffuse the situation. Let’s just sit back, have a laugh, and work on our relationships in a nice, pleasant manner.

And if you’re into men, try to avoid those “schmuckboys.”

SCMUCKBOYS is available to listen to on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

By Matthew Bussy, Program Director of PJFM