If you work at a Jewish film non-profit, you have definitely heard of CROSSING DELANCEY! Courtesy of Warner Bros.Crossing Delancey (1988). It’s that small movie that you have probably heard of but never seen. And if you work for a Jewish film non-profit, you have definitely heard about it. In my years of researching famous Jewish films throughout the world, every time I Google “Jewish rom-com,” Crossing Delancey shows up at the top of the page. The film has made a resurgence in these last few years, especially as Jewish cinema continues to grow internationally. Believe it or not, I had never seen this movie, and I say “believe it or not” because I see a LOT of movies. I did, however, always remember the poster of the film, featuring that beautiful, smiling, blue-eyed Amy Irving. (Another random, unfortunate disclosure: I still haven’t seen Yentl (1983), but it’s on my list. I swear!)
Unfortunately, I did mess up because I should have really seen this movie and prepared this blog post for Tu B’Av, the Jewish version of Valentine’s Day, earlier this month. From the opening sequence, as The Roches’ delightful “Come Softly to Me” plays, to the last scene, where the romantic leads obviously (spoiler alert) share a kiss, Crossing Delancey is a family-friendly rom-com in every possible way. It also has the looks and feels of a traditional Jewish movie. The New York setting. The Jewish protagonist and her equally Jewish love interest. A kosher wine store. A Yiddish-speaking Bubbe. A Bubbe’s apartment, featuring a cabinet with a menorah and a mezuzah on her doorframe. An over-the-top, ecstatic shadchan (Jewish matchmaker). A mohel. A funny brit milah (circumcision ceremony) scene involving the mohel and his explanation for how the foreskin feels no pain. A following scene where we see a table at the brit milah, filled with bagels and lox. Pickles. I could go on!
So, for me, I’m not a rom-com guy, but I can enjoy them to an extent. Crossing Delancey I really liked because it does feel like one of a kind. Let’s be honest here: how many Jewish rom-coms are out there? Like truly? There’s this film. There’s Yentl. There’s…that’s all that comes to mind. Of course, there’s romance in Fiddler on the Roof (1971), but I would say that’s more “musical” than romance. I’m talking about a traditionally structured romance where both love interests are 100% Jewish. Everything is Jewish. Nowadays, in the indie, film festival world, there are many more of these movies being made, especially in Israel. Crossing Delancey was an internationally released film by Warner Bros. from 1988, a decade filled with endless American romances like Pretty in Pink (1986) or Say Anything… (1989), but not Jewish ones. It felt oddly strange watching this movie because of how much it stands out as itself.
Based on and adapted by Susan Sandler’s play and directed by Joan Micklin Silver (who also famously directed Hester Street (1975), Crossing Delancey follows Izzy (Amy Irving, who I mostly remember as one of the few nice characters in Carrie (1976), a sweet, single 33-year-old woman working at a bookstore in New York City. She is very close with her Bubbe (Reizl Bozyk, so good), a loquacious grandmother living in the Lower East Side. Desperate for her granddaughter to find a man, she confesses that she hired a shadchan, Hannah (Sylvia Miles, over-the-top and hilarious), to help match her with her dream man.
Izzy is intransigent about her opposition to falling in love. She doesn’t want to get set up on a dozen awkward dates with men she’s never met. She pleads with her Bubbe that she’s happy just as she is and doesn’t need a man to complete her. On the inside, however, you can sense she wants to meet her soulmate. With her soft and pensive expressions, Irving is superb in her ability to express Izzy’s stubborn yet curious interest in the matter. It’s no surprise that she received a Golden Globe nomination for the film. In one memorable scene, Izzy walks into a hot dog place and a random, costumed woman enters and sings “Some Enchanted Evening.”
“Once you have found him, never let him go…” she sings. Izzy stares in bewilderment, but there is a hidden aversion she still harbors towards love.
As we soon see, her reasons for not wanting to date are pretty simple: she’s shy. After all, dating is awkward! For someone in her 30s who is always being told to date, it’s probably even more uncomfortable for Izzy. Although she shies away from men, she is particularly attracted to one stranger, the handsome Anton (Jeroen Krabbé), a new author who does public readings at her work. Handsome, yes, but grossly arrogant. They go to dinner in one scene, and poor Izzy can’t get one word in because the guy won’t stop talking about himself.
Things change for Izzy when Hannah sets her up on a date with Sam (Peter Riegert), a pickle shop owner. He’s an amicable guy, and Riegert doesn’t overplay him to be the intangible, exaggeratedly gorgeous boy next door that so many network rom-coms feature. He’s an honest guy who never tries to make Izzy feel uncomfortable. Although she turns him down at first, Sam senses her timidity to dating. Things, however, get particularly weird when Izzy goes on a date with him…only so she can secretly set him up with her friend sitting at the nearby bar. He’s hurt, and he has a right to be.
“Really, Izzy?!” I said to my TV screen.
Nevertheless, Izzy is a smart, independent woman who knows that she makes mistakes. She feels instantly ashamed for her “tactful” plan in trying to hook her friend up with her date. She knows something might work with Sam, but she wants to “get it right” with him, begin to date him on her own terms without her Bubbe or matchmaker telling her what to do.
I think that’s what I enjoyed most about Crossing Delancey: Izzy. Just Izzy, the character, because she’s so relatable. She’s shy about dating. Her Bubbe talks her head off about the importance of getting married pronto, but she doesn’t follow her orders. She has feelings for an egomaniac, which is annoying, but come on. We’ve all had a crush on someone bad at some point in our lives! We can’t deny it. Izzy’s independence and self-worth have appealed to so many movie buffs and brought Crossing Delancey out of anonymity. Even comedian/actress Jenny Slate, in an interview with Tablet Magazine, loves the film and reveres Izzy’s depiction as a “progressive, intelligent, Jewish New Yorker who was so bonded to her grandmother, but not necessarily to her cultural traditions.”
Now, as for the elephant in the room, are the Jewish characters in Crossing Delancey over-the-top and stereotyped? Well, a bit, I guess. The Bubbe, like so many Bubbes in movies, is obsessed with and only obsessed with her grandchild getting wed before it’s too late. The matchmaker is…well, a little scary, to be honest. She cackles and smiles non-stop. In one scene, she takes a giant bite out of a chicken wing and shouts from the kitchen, “it’s a match!” (Although I admit, I did laugh at that part.)
I think we are all in agreement that not every Bubbe or shadchan is this exaggerated. On the other hand, Crossing Delancey is also an 80s movie, and there is a lot that is frowned upon when re-watching these types of movies. Just watch any John Hughes film. The derogatory “f-word” is used ad nauseum. There is no excuse for this, obviously, but in the end, I really wouldn’t consider Crossing Delancey to be an “offensive” movie towards the Jewish community. Not at all. A smidge over-the-top, yes, but it’s just a movie.
On an end note, let’s also not forget pre-Frasier David Hyde Pierce’s small role in the film! If you enjoy 80s New York cinema as much as I do – the busy streets, the music, the fashion, the predictable but impossible to adore love story – Crossing Delancey is pure, old-fashioned, rom-com delight.
Crossing Delancey is now streaming on HBO Max.